Sometimes, I want to hang a “Do not disturb!” sign on my door, or rather wear it on my forehead for everyone to see,
because there are times when I want to be alone.
And by alone, I mean,
being alone with my thoughts, those things that I want to think about, ponder on, be amazed at, question, challenge and celebrate without the opinion of a friend, a workmate, or a stranger a few steps away from me,
reading books, blog posts or my personal journal without nameless people gazing as they pass by as if there is something intriguing when there’s only my unknown face and little body propped on the couch dying to be undisturbed,
feeling disappointment, happiness, excitement, doubt, guilt, worry all by myself and embracing that emotion with everything that I am at that very time,
sipping a cup of tea alone with my daydreams and having no one to interrupt the whimsical scenes of dreams coming true,
walking along familiar streets with only the noise of honking cars, the bright sunlight and silhouettes of people who are also walking – all those things that don’t really bother me,
searching the internet without any curious person talking to me whose eyes are actually on my screen.
I WANT TO BE ALONE.
I don’t want to hear one more complaint.
I don’t want to know the latest news.
I don’t want to check if there’s still money left.
I don’t want to check the time as well.
I don’t want to know about someone’s day.
I don’t want to be someone’s listening ear again.
I don’t want to have one more reason to not trust the government.
I don’t want to be disturbed by pesky neighbors.
I don’t want to make a to-do list.
I don’t want to prepare coffee and toast.
I don’t want to go out and smile at people smiling at me.
I WANT TO BE ALONE.
I want to be alone for a short, little while, dear world.
Because I need it,
as well as every other person at the office, the relaxing cafe, the sweet home, the glamorous runway, the crowded restaurant, the Niagara Falls, the deepest seas and even those at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Life needs a short, solemn period of SILENCE.
And when the sound of the world slowly gushes in again,
the sound of honking cars, yelling bosses, nagging mothers, crying babies, hurrying fire trucks,
screaming dreams, crying realities and dang Pterodactyl-mouthed worries,
it sounds clearer and sometimes, even sweeter.
And I believe in life again.
We all believe in life again.